Blog

A Slight Confession

I have a slight confession to make: I spend too much time on Facebook. I originally got an account just before I moved to Ireland, over 7 years ago, so I could more easily keep in contact with my crotchfruit. But you know how things are… and now, while I don’t spend hours and hours […]

Awesome levels of Stupid

Sometimes, the stupidity of people truly awes me. There is actually a point at which the Stupid must be deliberate and contrived because no one could reach such dizzy heights (or depths, depending on how you look at it), without serious study and practice. What saddens me is the trait appears so often in business […]

How to Get Laid When the Walls Are Coming Down

So. Women. First, let me tell you my favourite flavour of totty: Scandinavians. Norwegian, Danish, Swedish, Finnish, and Icelandic chicks invariably get my Happy Bone dancing a jig. But it’s not just rose-tinted view and an expectation of the blonde haired, blue-eyed statuesque Viking skirt with impressive mammaries. Nope — it’s more the confident and […]

The Agony of Social Media Marketing

I sat on the train on the way back to Cork on Sunday and did something I almost never, ever do because it’s so excruciatingly painful: instead of sticking to my Kindle and the current novel I’m reading about that warm ‘n’ fuzzy chap, Genghis Khan, and his jolly horde of tree-hugging New Men, I […]

Sudden, high-pitched screaming from my neighbour’s garage

You may remember I’ve written about a place called Stowmarket before. It’s horrible. Truly. It’s about 40 miles East of Cambridge and it’s one of those places no one ever actually goes to. You either live there or you’re passing through it. And the only reasons you’d live there are…

Three Lessons from My “Fat Jon” Moment

Aside from trashed orchards, levelled trees, and power outages, there’s another, less-obvious thing I find intensely annoying about Utterly Awful Weather: sometimes it gets so bad it stops me going out on Heidi for my daily two-wheeled constitutional. Just the odd day here and there is no big deal, but just lately things have been […]

Worse, Even Worse, Worst of All

One of the consequences of living no more than a couple of miles from the southern Atlantic coast of Ireland means we get to experience some pretty awesome weather. And yesterday we were treated to a rare old blow — to the extent it brought down several of the large pines behind the house and […]

Last Night I Nearly Died

Last night I nearly died. Again. First time I nearly died in the same fashion was some 35 years ago, in 1979. The occasion this time was that of going to the cinema to see one of a season of “banned films” showing at the local film club. And showing last night was…