Congratulations… and welcome to my world.
I’m Jon McCulloch, a.k.a. The Evil Bald Genius, and in joining me you’ve just let yourself in for an unimaginable and life-changing experience (and one not for the faint-hearted). More about why they call me The Evil Bald Genius, or The EBG for short, in a moment.
Because before we get into that, I have a lot of ideas and concepts to share with you during our time together, and your understanding all of them is vital to your business success. I promise to share everything with you: the good, the bad, and the ugly.
And you’ll learn something from all three.
Even more important than that… if you do put them to work for you, you’re very quickly going to be making more money with less work, less hassle, and fewer headaches.
Assuming that’s what you actually want of course. Because, presumably you’ve found me because you want to grow your business and you know you’re not quite hitting the mark yet. You know there’s a lot more opportunity out there for making money, ethically, legally, and morally, but the precise details of the “how to” is somehow eluding you, tantalisingly just out of reach. You can see it… hell, you can taste and smell the money… but you can’t quite touch it yet.
If that’s so, then you’re in exactly the right place.
Because the secrets I’ve uncovered after many years in the trenches, helping business owners just like you grow their businesses and dramatically increase their profits, are waiting here for you to plug straight into your own business… starting right now. It’s no exaggeration to say some of the profit-boosting strategies you’ll find on this website and, in particular, in my acclaimed 52 Ideas to Grow Your Business FAST email series could be making you more money within five minutes of you reading them.
Everything I’ve included in my 52 Ideas to Grow Your Business FAST email series has been tested and proven by me and my clients over the years, in both boom- and bust-economies. That’s a story in itself, and one to keep you right on the edge of your seat as it unfolds. It’s been a wild time, but a fun one, as you’re going to see for yourself as we get to know each other. In the meantime, buckle up, let go of the sides, and enjoy the ride.
Yadda, Yadda, Yadda
Yet, I do know you’ve likely heard all this before, people swearing to share with you the secrets to Life, the Universe and Everything, only to find they promise much and deliver nothing.
And maybe everything I say is more of the same-old, same-old?
Just the same trite yadda, yadda, yadda you hear every day?
Look, I know it’s easy for me to say this… but you’ve probably never come across anyone quite like me at all before.
Yes, I also promise much.
But then I deliver even more than I promise.
Yet I don’t expect you to take my word for this.
Anyone can make any claim they like, especially now we have the Internet where having a slick and professional website means nothing, since even a half-witted teenager can throw one up overnight and have it looking most convincing.
Truth is, I have a group of more than 140 Entrepreneurs I coach and mentor and the comments I get about the quality and power of what I share with them is humbling, even for an Evil Bald Genius. More than 85% of the people I allow in to my Inner Circle stay for at least a year in an industry where the average for this kind of group is 50% over just two months.
As for my £997 a month Elite Mastermind?
Oh my. One of my Members increased his profits by 400% in his first year as a Member. And as Tom Jones would say, “it’s not unusual”.
In short: my results are off the scale.
And, no, I’m not trying to get you to join anything, so I’m not even going to share the URLs with you just yet.
It’s all invitation-only and we don’t even know each other yet. Perhaps some time in the future if you qualify and you want to apply for a place, then maybe you can.
Moreover, I’ve worked with many multi-millionaire Entrepreneurs on both sides of the Pond over the years, men and women who understand business themselves and yet are willing to pay a short, irascible bald guy 4,000 miles and a half-dozen timezones away a small fortune (at a truly ruinous exchange rate) to help them grow their businesses rather than rely on home-grown talent.
There has to be a reason for that, and it’s not my height, good looks, or natural charm.
Those reasons will become apparent as you read my emails and stuff.
But in the meantime, I ask you not to believe me blindly about anything you read from me. I want you to be sceptical, questioning and even cynical. I don’t expect you to take anything I say at face value, so please, examine everything with all the critical thinking skills you can muster, and then test it for yourself in your own business in the harsh and unforgiving reality of the marketplace and see if I’m right or not.
Why do I say this?
First, I prefer to be correct than “right” I have a perfectly healthy ego, but I’m more interested in the truth than anything else. So if I’m wrong about something, I want someone to tell me.
And secondly, you’re going to find what I have to share with you makes a substantial and dramatic difference to your business, your profits, and your life.
But only if you take action!
If you think I or anyone else can somehow teach you a magic spell that’ll make you rich overnight and with no work… then you’re reading the wrong website and emails and learning from the wrong guy, and the best thing you can do is look elsewhere.
Finally… before we begin…
Why Do They Call Me the “Evil Bald Genius”?
Well… first let me just say all three are true to some extent, depending on your perspective.
They call me a Genius because I’m pretty smart when it comes down to it. Not to brag or anything, but it’s a fact, as you’ll come to discover for yourself as you get to know me better.
Obvious, really. Although it’s strictly untrue because I actually shave my noggin. If I left it to sprout for long enough, I’d have hair just like normal people do.
It’s really just a bit of fun, and it refers to some of the fiendishly clever but simple strategies I use in my own business and share with others to help them grow theirs. Many of them are here in this book.
But I’ve also had the epithet levelled at me because I’m an atheist libertarian. It seems some people can’t get their heads around the idea I don’t go around killing little old ladies and kicking puppies because I’m not afraid of an afterlife filled with imaginative and inventive devils and demons wielding red-hot pitchforks and pokers.
And there are yet others who find my principles of self-reliance and a refusal to be responsible for others’ problems to be personally offensive. Why this is I can but imagine, but I suspect it’s because they can’t intimidate me with their guilt-trips and so seek to insult me instead.
Whatever. It’s all water off a duck’s back to me, and I find it all rather amusing.
So, I positively embrace the “Evil” moniker as my own.
But, really Evil?
Well, just read my 52 Ideas to Grow Your Business FAST email series, put the strategies to work for you, and then make your mind up.
A Few Notes Before You Get Started
- English is a funny language in that there are no gender-neutral third-person singular pronouns. So instead of writing barbaric and ugly phrases like “he or she” “his or hers” or, vilest of all, “s/he” I’ve taken the traditional route, old fart that I am, and used the masculine throughout. If this offends you, then you’re going to hate the rest of the book, of that I’m certain
- I don’t mince my words and sometimes what I say offends people. Please don’t read Grow Your Business FAST and then write to me and complain about things I’ve said you don’t approve of. Not only do I not care, but you’ll just invite mockery and make yourself look stupid.
- I’m not interested in your “feedback” If I get something objectively wrong, by all means correct me. But if you’re just giving me your unsolicited opinions on how I ought to run my business or communicate with my audience, please don’t bother. Your opinions are irrelevant. There’s an excellent clip here from Howard Stern that sums up my feelings perfectly.
- Any mistakes you find are entirely mine and mine alone. You are free to send comments and corrections to me here: email@example.com. Don’t hold your breath waiting for a reply, though. Consider this as a “thank you” in advance.
More About Me and My Work
I am not generally available to work on new clients’ projects. Any projects I do work on are subject to a minimum project fee and always begin with a full day of consulting either in my office or in yours. If you wish to enquire about my availability to work on your projects, please use one of the methods below and clearly state your name and contact details (fax or email only), and give an outline of your business, as well as a brief paragraph saying how you think I can help you.
Please don’t embarrass yourself and annoy me by offering an “equity stake” or a “share of future profits” in return for my help and advice on your “guaranteed winner”. It might come as a surprise for you to learn this is not a new idea, and it’s about as appealing to me as a cup of cold dog vomit. If you don’t have the cash to pay my fees plus an ongoing royalty on the materials I create for you, then you don’t qualify to work with me.
If your needs are less onerous you may qualify for a one-hour telephone consulting session. I also have a very limited number of one-off consulting days available, and I am available for appropriate speaking engagements and interviews. Please contact me for availability.
Other than that, the best piece of advice I can offer you is to help yourself to my free 52 Ideas to Grow Your Business FAST email series. It’s the quickest, easiest, and cheapest way to discover if you’re gonna get along with me.
How to Get in Touch With Me
You can get in touch with me by any one of these methods:
Fax: +353 (0) 21 238 0554
Please note: I do not accept incoming telephone calls without appointment.
Really About Jon (from the “blurb” on the back of GYBF)
Jon McCulloch has been dubbed “The Evil Bald Genius” for reasons you’ll find become clear as you immerse yourself in his work. But be warned — Jon’s scathing and uncompromising style and language are for neither the sensitive nor the faint-hearted. In fact, he has something guaranteed to offend everyone.
But that’s OK, because Jon isn’t in the business of winning friends and influencing people, not if it comes at the expense of hiding or obfuscating the truth about what it takes to succeed legally, morally, ethically, and entirely above board in business in today’s dire economy, despite recession, bad government, and tight-fisted banks. So if you’re looking to have your hand held and your fevered brow mopped with gentle, loving hands, you’d be best advised not to read this book, because you won’t like it.
On the other hand… if you’re serious about increasing your sales by 100% or more within the next three months, you’re prepared to roll your sleeves up and get stuck in to some seriously hard work, and you’re not timid, faint-hearted, or unwilling to ruffle a few feathers, then this is the book you’ve been looking for.
Who Is the Evil Bald Genius?
Jon is a leading and controversial educator in Direct Response Marketing, a fearless and outrageously outspoken small business advocate, and the most expensive copywriter and marketing consultant in Europe so far as he knows (even if you’re able to hire him at all, which is highly unlikely. He almost never opens up his Private Client List to new clients, and the ones already on it never leave).
He lives in West Cork, Ireland, with Mrs EBG, his Jack Russell Terrier, Haggis, and an assortment of other dogs and cats.